Day 76: Forever numb

I hope one day to get feeling back…its maddening to say the least. It is completely distracting and does effect my mood quite a bit. I try to stay generally up beat and just do what I can but some days just aren't so good. I keep thinking there is something wrong, like I will be this way forever but then I have to remind myself  it has actually only been 2.5 months. I find looking at other surgery blogs helpful, helps to remind me this is all normal and if anything I am ahead of the curve.

Chart of feeling / non-feeling

Here is where the chin feeling is today.

Green: Faint return of sensation, I can touch it and can feel gentle tingling where my finger actually is on my face. This is the same area that feels wet when I drink anything cold (even when nothing is running down my face it feels like it)

Light Blue: This is the area of constant sensation and tightness. My lower lip and right below. If I touch lightly the whole chin fires off in a very spiky "asleep" way. It also sends a strange signal to my lower teeth.

Dark Blue: Nothing. I can feel the surrounding area fire off because it recognizes pressure but the skin has no feeling. If i push a little harder the skin feels bruised. For all i know it is.

Hot and cold: This is where there is the most unusual reactions. I can not really feel my lower lip so when I rest something hot on my lip it feels like a giant burning wet noodle slapped down the front of my chin. If I drink something cold my chin feels like water is rushing over the outside…it's not.

My upper jaw is still sore, on either side of my nose is tenderness. If I push on my sinuses I can feel the plates on that side of my face. Its all just creepy.

9/23 - progress

I have been going back and forth on how I think I look. My face hasn't quite settled yet so I'm trying to reserve judgment until its all healed. My smile annoys me as it isn't quite right. I used to have dimples, I'm curious if they will come back.

Swelling:
I still have a bit of swelling under my nose, under my cheekbones and along the jaw line. I am even a little lop-sided today, my lips are being pulled almost to one side…its something that changes almost daily.

My Jaw: The Jerk
I have been having the strangest thing occur; If I am sitting reading, or watching TV, or writing this blog, ect… My Jaw will suddenly jerk open and then back to start. Usually this results in a tongue in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't understand this phenomena, more research is required.

Morning of surgery vs Today

Movement:
The muscles in my lower jaw are not even yet, I feel it most when I start talking to someone. I am not sure if my lower lip is forming words properly. I have been practicing pulling crazy faces in the mirror…"exercise". I have also noticed inside my upper lip that the skin grew back a bit oddly, may be making the movement a bit tighter…not sure yet.

Energy:
This is still a hit or miss area. I have days where I feel normal (minus the numbness) and can get a lot done, then there are days where I get nothing done. I am not able to work steadily yet but Ill get there.
I do fear all those personal projects I wanted to work on are going to get overtaken by work I actually need to do. I was hoping to be further along by now, so I will have to schedule personal work into my regular life. This is probably a healthy thing to do anyway.

This past weekend I had the ultimate test of stamina. Several friends came in from out of town. During the week I got to see friends Erica and Alex and had my first full day outing. Friday my good friend Andrew and his gf Becky came to stay the weekend. For 3 days I was out and about almost non-stop! At night I was done and had to rest my face with ice. There would be parts of the day I would have to stop talking or sit down but for the most part, success! I also attended a baby shower and went out for my husband's bday. I am a bit tired now…maybe I should take a day to lay about.

Andrew, Becky and I on a pinball adventure

Food:
I am happy to say this is going in the right direction. It is hard to get used to. My teeth still feel very strange, they are mostly numb on my right side. This makes eating on this side kind of horrible. I can not apply pressure and if my k9s touch I tend to jump. I did have an eating milestone tho, a breakfast burrito! With the use of a steak knife, fork and a lot of time it was conquered. Tiny bits by tiny bits.

I have found that I just need to try to bite down on things, if it doesn't budge I stop and scratch it from the currently possible list.

Gym:
So….running is way harder than I remember. I have not gone for a real run since late last year…which is probably why I should have worked at this a little more carefully. I went for a 2 mile run, right out of the gate. At first it felt very odd, had to keep my jaw open so I did not clench the teeth together. I was very surprised by how much easier it is to breathe. I could run for quite a bit before getting out of breath. Then about a mile and a half out my legs started hurting. My hip has been bothering me since…sooo I need to not go whole hog. I still can not do weight lifting which is a bit of a bummer. Can not go underwater yet either.  Everything in my life is currently "feel it out and see if it works, don't push too hard tho".

 Misc:
Still trying to work but find it difficult to stay on task. my brain is still rather scattered and the numbness really is a distraction. Other blogs I read put some of my current symptoms even later down the line… but basically I'm hoping my chin returns to normal over night.

Here are some toothy and lovely gifting I have received lately. So much toothy goodness…