One Year Toothiversary!

Time has flown by! Actually I have been very aware of the time as I have been paying attention to my nerves and mobility monthly… but it still doesn't seem like it has been a year.

I spent my Toothiversary in a beer hall in Brooklyn with some fabulous friends. I was planning an adventure for a tooth shaped relic to commemorate but got sidetracked. Eventually I will own all the tooth related goods!

First off, I wanted to share two photos: One is from April of last year (before surgery) at my Light Grey Art Lab opening and the second is from this weekend's Myplasticheart opening (one day shy of a year)…oddly enough wearing the same shirt.

A number of friends say they dont think I look that different, maybe because they see my face a lot, while others think I look completely changed. I tend to agree with the latter. Look at those swanky teeth.

Here are some more "then vs now" images, although the now was taken in January when I got the braces off but before I was allowed to go get a cleaning. Still swollen but still interesting to see, even if I am disheveled in both images.

So whats new now? Well the nerves are still on my nerves. Super long process but perhaps it is coming along, ill check my past graphics to see how its doing ;)

Nerve chart racing stripe

Green: My hyperactive tingling racing stripe. This stripe follows the same path to the inside of my mouth, so the front and back of my bottom lip gets all the numbs. It still feels like there is a clothes pin or chip clip stuck to my lip. I have the feeling of secondary motion when I talk, like my lip is carrying something heavy and it takes a min for it to move. It travels down to my gum line. When I brush my lower front teeth it is really uncomfortable. Just have to try to ignore it and keep on. It should start to come back more and more as the months progress. Fingers crossed.

Teal: The tiny dot in the stripe. This spot has pretty much no feeling. It really doesnt bother me at all but if I run my finger in a circle around my chin I can tell where it's "property lines" are. This will probably not come back. meh.

Purple: These are the spots I get some pressure. Like somone has their fingers there and they are pushing slightly. It comes and goes. The right side sometimes makes a few of my teeth hurt. This is also the section that was throbbing when I was at 10k feet in the mountains of Colorado recently. It was unpleasant. The surgeons office said that they could go back in to remove the screws here if needed buuuuut I think I will keep the slight annoyance rather than cutting my face open again.

In other news, my tongue has been a bit of an issue recently. Apparently when I work and I am focused I push on the back of my teeth. This is slightly moving the right side out a bit. Right now I am just going to wear the retainers a bit more during work hours and keep an eye on it. I will probably need more teeth shaved down but hopefully we wont need to move the teeth anywhere more aggressively.

Six Months: Hello Invisalign

This past month (and the start of the new year) has been eventful to say the least. As I posted Monday I got my braces off, it was glorious.

But since Monday I have had two more tooth related appointments: Picking up my invisalign from Dr. Huang and getting my last face scan from Dr. Olsson!

Invisalign:
Behold my new tooth prison for 20+ hours a day for the next 3 months (and then at night, forever)…

I have had them for roughly 36 hrs and its an interesting new experience thus far.

Pros:
After having so much trauma to this part of my face over the last year it is actually kind of comforting. They do not hurt because they are not made to progressively shift my teeth, but to keep them exactly where they are now. Since I'm mildly scared about getting bumped in the face, hit with a door or slipping on an icy sidewalk it assures me my teeth aren't falling out… or something. Anyway, they are kind of like a hug for each tooth.

The Inaugural Wear

You have to get pretty up close and personal to see them on my teeth. Two things give it away: 1. When my teeth are closed there is a slight gap (shown above), 2. When wearing, I currently have a tiny lisp when saying things that end in S.  I have also already forgotten I was wearing them a couple times (may be due to still having tooth numbness).

Cons:
You need to take them out anytime you want to eat or drink anything (other than water). Because I forgot I was wearing them last night I tried to eat some bread and couldn't figure out why it felt so odd. This means I have to plan my coffee drinking into short bursts instead of my all day routine.

After I eat or drink something and before putting them back in I need to brush my teeth. So where ever I go I need to bring my case and my tiny vial of tooth powder.

Case (they gave me blue to match my hair), Appliance bath,
tooth powder (need to get a tiny portable brush too)

Care:
I really didn't want to have an open glass of water sitting around with my teeth in it so I bought a little sealing bath at the pharmacy. It has a little draining basket in it so i don't have to fish my teeth out with my paws.

Figuring out how to clean them was a little more challenging. Can not clean them with toothpaste or mouthwash and after reading the ingredients on the denture / retainer cleaners I was determined to not have artificial colors, flavors, chemicals and whatever metal shavings they put in that crap. Turns out really watered down distilled white vinegar does the same job. I'm not a fan of vinegar (unless its salt and vinegar chips) but some running water gets ride of residue.

My teeth in a basket

Then today I visited Dr. Olsson for my last visit (as long as nothing odd happens). All is healing as it should and will continue to for up to two years. I can still feel where there is a break in the bone even tho Dr. Olsson believes I think too much about these things ;)

 …And then I got a brand new face scan!

I KNEW IT, Ive gone full Terminator!!

2013 vs 2016

Post op (wired shut) vs Today

Illuminated chompers

As you can see, where my bottom jaw is broken, the left side has a larger break and plate. This is also the side that still is visible on the outside as well… totally not making that up.

Here is this month's numbness progression. The changes are slight, almost too slight for me to really account in any helpful way…but here it is anyway:

Maybe by the time my invisalign goes into retainer mode I will have more or less feeling and less of a visible crater. Onward!

Day 178: Cleared For Take Off

Happy New Year!! Today is a very special day, a day that seemed like a life-time away. I got up, took a few photos and rushed to the train to head downtown. Why was I so excited?

Because… today is the day I went to visit Dr. Huang (My Orthodontist)! Today is the day I escaped tooth prison… the braces came off!

Dr Huang gets 2 thumbs up!

Just shy of the 2 year mark since I first held my teeth captive, just shy of 6 months since my surgery. The first few months I was sure that it would never end, I was pretty bummed out being an adult with braces…. but holy cow, a lot has changed!

Did it hurt to get them off? Yes, but it may not be that way for everyone. My gums and lips are hyper sensitive at the moment so getting the bracket off the tooth makes them vibrate just enough for the nerves to go bananas. Getting the glue off the individual teeth didn't bother my teeth at all, the blast of air off of the tiny grinder made my gums cringe. The smell of hot tooth glue is not delicious. But Dr. Huang did everything in short bursts, giving me a moment to recover every few teeth. He also tried to shield my gum line from the air (which really only bothered me on the bottom jaw- the very sensitive / numb/ hyperactive / nightmare zone). 

A successful escape

I walked up to the mirror to rinse the glue debris from my mouth and saw my teeth for the first time. I let out an audible giggle. It was the first time I had ever seen my teeth like this! I stayed for end photos and to get impressions for my invisalign retainers. A few months ago they had tried to get some images and opening my mouth with the plastic bars hurt so much I was almost brought to tears. Today everything felt almost normal! Its all sensitive but the pain is going away. The first real sign for me of progress in this department. 

I sent my husband photos from the chair and he came up with the brilliant idea of celebration ramen! The hot soup felt a bit strange on my teeth but with noodles this good, who cares. 

Now I am home and its so surreal… I glace in the mirror and think "look at those chompers"! I actually feel really pretty… go figure!

Four Months: Reintroduced to the wild

A little over 17 weeks… but I'm not counting or anything. A lot of stuff has been packed into this past month. But, to be perfectly honest, Ive spent the bulk of this month feeling like this:

and also like this…

My lower lip and chin are still non-existent or exist but on someone else's face. I'm tired & drained but I have work to do which means I have also started falling behind on things. But most of all I am getting nervous about teeth and lack of feeling. I'm also completely sick of having braces…

 So lets start the break down with the thing I most worry about…

Feeling / Movement / The Like:
Oh boy! So when I was set to get this surgery they tell you there is a risk of permanent nerve damage… Actually they remind you quite a lot about this. Especially if you are "no longer 18"…thanks, haha! When told about this it was explained its a 10% chance and that it could just be small patches that dont come back. The problem I have is that it is not a small patch. It has been 4 months of constant annoyance.

The dead zone is still a place where the cold, the hot, the spiky hang out. It also creeps from my lip into my gum line and the lower teeth join in on the feelingless fun. I can sense when my hand touches my face but if there is food or water there I am clueless. If you have ever had Novocaine then it is like the part where you can almost feel the pain again but it also feels like that part is asleep.

The biggest hassle with having this part of my face reacting this way is that i have to move it to do things. Sometimes I just feel my bottom teeth pulsate if I am not moving my lips. If I do move my lips it feels tight, like it is on fire and or may belong to someone else. I officially have a possessed phantom lip.

Because of this I have called the surgeon. He is going to give everything a look but I could be healing continuously into the 6 - 9 month period. At 9 months I'm most likely at the "this is what this is now" stage. Ya know…because I'm not 18.

In addition to just generally freaking out and muttering "this surgery wasn't worth it" I have upped the vitamin game. I had spoken to the surgical resident and was advised to get a B complex. I had already started on those a few months ago, so did some research and got a few others that may help nerve function, like fish oil. (I am no doctor so i asked people that actually are)

Here is the current line up

I also hate taking pills… so to make myself not totally give up I just take one multivitamin on the weekend. If Im doing something wrong ill know about it on Thursday. So far no change…

Except that the fish oil feels like a horse tranquilizer…

 Food / Eating:
This has been going slowly… so slowly but in the right direction. I am happy to say I had a salad finally. It was super tiny and took me 30 mins to eat but I ate it damn it! I can not eat whatever I want… there is no giant burger, no hard-shell taco dinners, no mixed nuts in my close future. I can manage small sushi rolls if i cut them in half, mini grilled cheese if i smash it flat (and bite super slowly), fish and chips if I eat tiny bits with a fork and only eat the soft fries, and all the ramen if it doesn't have bamboo shoots or other giant veggies.

*notice that completely clean bite…very satisfying.

eat all the tofu…leave all the bamboo

I can not have chips… I would like a potato chip. Just one… 

So I have purchased some seasonal flavors for when the time comes (i don't care if they end up being disgusting). Its like a pair of skinny jeans you cant fit into yet or something, except probably completely the opposite.

you will be mine…

 Travel:
Last month I was released back into the wild. I traveled to PA for Illuxcon and for the annual retreat in the woods. It was an interesting adventure. I didn't expect travel to be so hard. I hate flying under normal situations but flying when you are constantly worried someone is going to bump into you or your face is going to explode upon take off is another added hurdle. It didn't help that a very large fidgety man playing his video game with the sound on pinned me up to the window for the full flight to Philly.

Inside I am screaming

The first couple days may have been the hardest. Travelling to a convention and having so many conversations, enough to cut my lip in 2 places because of laughing. BUT! I got to see people I only see once a year, we made up games and drank lots of poorly prepared cocktails.

At Illuxcon, creating a new game called "police sketch artist".

Afterwards a handful of us retreated into the "woods" to make art and trouble. I got a cold. My body is not sure why I am torturing it but I am… it is lashing out.

 Thanks to friend (or enemy?) Tony Palumbo, I was reminded to stay away from the snack table…

I spent Halloween fighting the cold but also enjoying movies at Dave and Dena's cat palace. I got to see my friends Elyse and Michael and also picked up some wax teeth from Jinxed. The return flight was much more spacious but the descent was far more painful. My sinuses and ears felt like they were going to explode. I fought the urge to blow my nose with extreme force and eventually my ears squeaked back to normal.

When I got home I was greeted by this awesome gift from Miranda and Josh at Clutter. Mmm tooth necklace, Ecto 1, my future pop rocks meal, and my finalist badge from the DTAs. :)

  

Even tho travelling has been quite taxing I will be going again very soon. This time to LA, to another convention (note to self, bring orthodontic wax). If you are going to Designer Con, say hi to me!

Day 53: Allergies

Life is slowly getting more normal, like the return of allergies! I would like to thank my body for resisting the urge to torture me with the seasonal allergy during initial recovery. I guess my body is like "meh you're fine now, here is this thing that makes you sneeze and makes you want to claw out your eyes…thats cool, right? Yeah, its cool".

Sneezing is still interesting. Just remembering to sneeze out the mouth…try not to claw out eyes. Repeat.

Numbness / general face progress:
Progress feels so SLOW! ARRRRGH! I have some puffiness still…. i guess it takes a while. I'm a little lopsided still. Under my nose is still…weird…i don't know how else to put it. I feel like it sticks out and my lips have to strain to touch, making me look like i have tiny lips.

That doesnt make any sense, my upper jaw is smaller so there should be more upper lip to go around. Maybe its the stitches still being around with a bit of swelling.

My chin and lower lip is still a bane on my existence. Yes, it is that dramatic. It feels completely fake. It tingles all the time and touching it now is horrible. Its a sensation dumping ground. I think it means that feeling is coming back. The muscles are still very week. Eating or talking to people is the oddest feeling. It is like i have tape holding down all the skin on my chin, it feels like its not moving and being held back. Torture.

Eating:
I am getting better at food. I have been eating a lot of microwave veggie pot pie. I have been eating a lot of veggies wilted or cooked till soft. I really haven't been eating sweets. So odd, I love pastries… just haven't been interested. Maybe this is a new thing. I did buy a muffin today, a morning glory muffin…. so carrot, raisin, ect. I ate it with a fork but I ate it. I wasn't totally into it because it was sweet. I'm surprised that there has been such a shift in my food tastes. Probably for the best…

The act of eating is becoming less horrible to probably look at. Fewer things end up on my chin and its more deliberate. I have been having an easier time chewing on the left side of my face. Trying to be more mindful to give both sides a good eating workout.

Skin:
Oh, skin…why do you hate me? Surgery skin is such a pain in the butt. I cant really get a scrub going yet but I'm trying out some masks. I got a new one from Lush and hoping it helps. They seem to help a little bit but I'm sure once my body calms down I wont need to experiment so much.

Perfect title when you leave the house
sans make-up with a nice sheen of  "surgery skin"

Its cooling AND matches my hair

A Tooth for A Tooth:

Tomorrow I will be finally posting things to my shop. Tooth related things that i made. Only my teeth have been harmed in the making of these pieces. To learn more, check out the link at the top of the page. I have been in the studio for a few days. Little chunks of working! 

A Tooth for A Tooth Project

Misc:

If you have sent me a note, a text, a letter, a package, or stopped in to see me, let me just say that I really appreciate it. You are all super awesome!

A fantastic gift with awesome packaging!
Im a sucker for a wood box…cant wait to try the perfume!

Day 24 - Mind the gap

I foresee that my blog posts will be further apart as I am attempting to get back to normal life…which right now is anything but normal. Relearning to eat food is very frustrating. I have patches of no feeling inside my mouth so I have no idea if I am biting myself or the "food". I can only open my mouth the tiniest bit…this is where those tiny spoons and plastic forks come in handy.

Insert delicious food into the slot

Jumping right into soft food is not as easy as they make it sound. I have had scrambled eggs, an avocado smushed into tiny pieces, couscous, over cooked mac and cheese shells and greek yogurt with honey. Everything else is still blended. I much prefer the blended meals to trying to chew…but i need to get my face moving so that my muscles know where their home really is. I tend to just be chewing very slowly up and down and then just swallowing things mostly whole. I am still having to use a mirror for reference as to where my mouth is.

Couscous adventures

The feeling comes in waves and it has been a struggle. Some times its a mild tingling that I can bear…other times its full on burning, throbbing and my teeth feel like they are vibrating. The latter happens mainly at night when I am trying to get ready for bed. Its quite terrible and may be driving me mad.

Here is today's feeling chart: 

• Green has a 40-50% return feeling, as in I can feel when something touches this part but I cant tell so much when it stops (the feeling lingers like a bug walking on your skin). 
• Blue is a 0-10% return. This is the area that has the most burning, stabbing, vibrating. This is also supposed to be the area that comes back last.

Feeling Blue:

I have been having waves of feeling defeated. It was warned in the pre-surgery packet that post surgery depression is a common occurrence and to just know that it is normal. My issue has been my mind is ready to work and to hang out and to exercise but my body is in no way ready. Its summer, everyone is out doing fun summer things and I get super tired when out in the sun. I would also love to go for a swim but can not submerge my head and its expressly forbidden to do anything more than walk at the moment. I have also been irritable about not being able to chew…who knew it was so hard. No wonder babies that just get new teeth are so cranky at meal time. All I need is a bib.  At least I almost have a real smile…even if it doesnt involve teeth

Returning Focus:

I have moved back into my bedroom at night and have returned the living room to normal. Its way less cozy to watch tv but im trying to shift back to regular life. I have also started to spend some time reading. My video game focus is pretty darn good and getting my eyes to follow fast moving objects and react to them is way better (not good enough for me to want to drive again, but better). I was having trouble before with eye strain when I would read… it was super taxing. I get through a few pages before I need a break and if I get too tired I just take a nap. I have a lot of books i wanted to spend time with during this recovery but had no idea how brain function would be effected by partial face removal surgery :P