Day 53: Allergies

Life is slowly getting more normal, like the return of allergies! I would like to thank my body for resisting the urge to torture me with the seasonal allergy during initial recovery. I guess my body is like "meh you're fine now, here is this thing that makes you sneeze and makes you want to claw out your eyes…thats cool, right? Yeah, its cool".

Sneezing is still interesting. Just remembering to sneeze out the mouth…try not to claw out eyes. Repeat.

Numbness / general face progress:
Progress feels so SLOW! ARRRRGH! I have some puffiness still…. i guess it takes a while. I'm a little lopsided still. Under my nose is still…weird…i don't know how else to put it. I feel like it sticks out and my lips have to strain to touch, making me look like i have tiny lips.

That doesnt make any sense, my upper jaw is smaller so there should be more upper lip to go around. Maybe its the stitches still being around with a bit of swelling.

My chin and lower lip is still a bane on my existence. Yes, it is that dramatic. It feels completely fake. It tingles all the time and touching it now is horrible. Its a sensation dumping ground. I think it means that feeling is coming back. The muscles are still very week. Eating or talking to people is the oddest feeling. It is like i have tape holding down all the skin on my chin, it feels like its not moving and being held back. Torture.

Eating:
I am getting better at food. I have been eating a lot of microwave veggie pot pie. I have been eating a lot of veggies wilted or cooked till soft. I really haven't been eating sweets. So odd, I love pastries… just haven't been interested. Maybe this is a new thing. I did buy a muffin today, a morning glory muffin…. so carrot, raisin, ect. I ate it with a fork but I ate it. I wasn't totally into it because it was sweet. I'm surprised that there has been such a shift in my food tastes. Probably for the best…

The act of eating is becoming less horrible to probably look at. Fewer things end up on my chin and its more deliberate. I have been having an easier time chewing on the left side of my face. Trying to be more mindful to give both sides a good eating workout.

Skin:
Oh, skin…why do you hate me? Surgery skin is such a pain in the butt. I cant really get a scrub going yet but I'm trying out some masks. I got a new one from Lush and hoping it helps. They seem to help a little bit but I'm sure once my body calms down I wont need to experiment so much.

Perfect title when you leave the house
sans make-up with a nice sheen of  "surgery skin"

Its cooling AND matches my hair

A Tooth for A Tooth:

Tomorrow I will be finally posting things to my shop. Tooth related things that i made. Only my teeth have been harmed in the making of these pieces. To learn more, check out the link at the top of the page. I have been in the studio for a few days. Little chunks of working! 

A Tooth for A Tooth Project

Misc:

If you have sent me a note, a text, a letter, a package, or stopped in to see me, let me just say that I really appreciate it. You are all super awesome!

A fantastic gift with awesome packaging!
Im a sucker for a wood box…cant wait to try the perfume!

Post Op: 6 weeks down

Last Thursday I went to the Surgeon and the Orthodontist… It was just as bad as I had imagined. At least I wasnt disappointed?

It was time to get the splint removed…you know, the one held in by terror and twist-ties. They set right to work, I had an audience of residents…there to watch the torture with bated breath. Dr. Olsson said "Okay dont be nervous it will be over before you know it", I then asked "Do I get everything numb again?". The answer was basically, no. I would not have a ton of feeling. That was not correct. They were very nice and did everything as quick as possible but, come on, I had wires in my gums. No picnic was had.

I did wear my festive tee for the occasion…a little morale boost to my brain. Im also now very popular in maxillofacial circles.

I had 5 or 6 sets of wires to be removed (I lost track of the count do to my panic). He would clip the underside wires, the ones attached to the splint, it would pinch my palette because I have spots of intense feeling. Then the wires would be pulled swiftly thru the gums. A bit twisted and maybe a little sharp. They tried to do it quick…I felt almost everything. When all was done, only a few short mins later, I had a good flop-sweat going and I was light-headed. Rinsed with the medical mouthwash and was good to go…when my heart started again.

I get a headache just looking at these…

I took a quick photo of the splint (the exhumed corpse). It is a nice gross color from the plastic it is made from mixed with blood…dont worry its in the background of the photo and just looks like a tiny raw chicken. :P

Matcha madness

After IT was removed from my body the inside of my mouth felt like I had been in the pool too long and the skin had gone all prune. There was some time to kill before the next stop on the pain train so my husband and I stopped in for some tea. I got an iced green tea and HOLY COW…cold is realllly cold, hot is really hot and flavors are a thousand times different.

So ice-cold shock and I was on to the Orthodontist office…


I was there to get new wires, fix brackets and do a general reset to my orthodontics. I was hoping with the nerves still being damaged that this would be a breeze. Ha…

Awaiting launch

My face is a mess of crossed-signals…faulty wiring. One tooth could be completely numb and another can have a billion times the feeling. What gives? The appointment was about an hour and I felt every min. Dr. Huang was apologetic and as quick as he could be but the tech was a little more fumbly than I would have hoped. I think i made her nervous, I had involuntary jerks of my lower jaw (it still has no idea whats going on) and my eyes wouldnt stop watering. New metal and bands later = a dose of advil. "I am like an alligator, I have amazing bite force but have trouble actually getting my jaws open if someone uses a bit of tape"

You cant even tell there was metal in my gums!

The rest of the day was spent in pj's with a sore face. The following day my face and jaw started to swell up again, which is normal. Over the next few days I realized my bands are super tight…like hard to open my mouth again, headache inducing tight. I was resorting to stretching out the rubber bands between two hair clips so I could get them in without pulling too hard. Finally I called today and was told I could trade out for a lighter option so Im happy. The bands go all the way to the back teeth on the bottom to near the front on the top so getting them in has been a challenge.

The bands do come with this handy little extender / installation hand but its still a bit of a dance. My jaw has a mind of its own and likes to fight anything I do to it. Hopefully when the less tight bands are in my possession it will be less stressful.

Numbness:
The dead zone is still quite that…but…now if i run my nail along my bottom lip the tiniest spark trail follows. If I touch the base of my chin I feel a few teeth fire off. If i run my finger on the chin itself there is a delay and then it has that fallen asleep feeling, a very deep sleep but the tingling is starting to emerge.

Food:
Everything is pretty much the same. I was told I should be able to progress the eating, gradually eat harder things. Just go slow and try things out…dont go crazy. So Friday Jarrett took me out for sushi and ramen! I could eat tamago sashimi and age tofu AND THIS:

Shrimp and scallop ramen = yum!

I had to take out all the shrimp and cut them into tiny bits. Also all the veggies were still too crisp but it was all very exciting. A Lychee martini was also fantastic and helped the soreness of my teeth. I really should have tried chopsticks earlier in recovery. I was worried they would be hard to eat with but because they are low profile it made getting the food in way easier than a fork. Oh well!

Working out:
I managed to go to the gym once but because my face has been a pressure pot I decided to back off a bit. Maybe tomorrow…

Misc:
Still going slowly but in the right direction. Cleaning the final 2 rooms in the house this week and then I should be able to spend some studio time. Hoping September will be a time for me to get to a bunch of personal projects I never had time for.

Also practicing my face movements by torturing Tanuki. She's a lover…

 Another very thoughtful gift landed this weekend. Super appreciated! So much toothy goodness!

 AND…My friend Tim, who lives in FL, sent me this tee he had made. He used to make all these funny stick figure doodles in high school that made me giggle, the new drawings are just as awesome! The tee is inspired by our online xbox play dates, we go in for the zombie, monster, horror co-op games. Now we have a 2-person team uniform. <3

Day 39: That tingling feeling

My next appointment with the surgeon and the orthodontist is closing in fast. On Thursday I get the splint removed from the roof of my mouth. While I look forward to being able to say my S' again, I am very nervous about how they are actually going to get it out of my face. The metal posts go thru the gums, the most terrifying twist ties. While im very sick of my jaw being numb, I may have to get them to re-numb the top…I have the fear.

Beware the metal twist ties… who knows how many lurk within

I'm unsure as to how many of my teeth actually have feeling now. When I chew I only feel it in patches. I'm hoping they are just numb enough for my first return Orthodontic appointment (which is also Thursday). I will be getting new bands and having brackets repaired and replaced.

Numbness:
My bottom jaw is still void of actual feeling but it is not lacking in extreme spiky, burning sensations with a bit of muscle squirming thrown in. I really hope this terrible sensation means I will get all nerve function back eventually. I have to remind myself that it hasnt been that long since surgery, im actually ahead of the game, just impatient. It would be more bearable if my lip had feeling. I think I have been biting my lip but i have no idea.

A dash of this, a pinch of that and a handful of this gives you:

The Dead Zone

Sleep:
Sleeping has been interesting…I am still trying to stay at a slight incline but started waking up on my side, sliding halfway down the pillow. It makes my face feel odd to be sleeping on my side. I think I am also grinding my teeth or my jaw spasms in the night. Either way I wake up because my teeth are touching in an odd manner… OR maybe its only odd because my teeth never meet before? Who knows?

Vitamins:
I have started taking supplements, a D3, B complex (B1, B2, B6, B12) - 5 times a week and a multivitamin 2 times. I was told to take a multivitamin in liquid form when I was on a liquid diet. Now that I can open my maw more I take in pill form. I had a D deficiency going in to surgery so giving bone health a boost was a no brainer. B vitamins assist with the nervous system. I consulted a pharmacist when picking out a D and B vitamin.

Chewing:
This is still a dull subject. Dull because I have little feeling in my teeth. Chewing is a dull pressure that sort of just happens. Some teeth randomly give a pain signal, and sometimes my jaw muscles forget what they are doing…makes everything very interesting. I actually dont know how to chew properly yet, i only have the up and down motion. I never had teeth that touched so its going to take a while to adapt. The body is good at adapting, I just wish I could feel it adapting so I knew what was going on.

Exercises:
Last week I went to the gym twice. I have found I can swim laps slowly with my head above water for about 30 mins. I can ride a spin bike for about an hour, using resistance and while remaining in the seat, slightly upright. I am going to keep it up, 2 days a week, until I can do more.

When I do go to the gym I feel great afterwards…the following day however, I feel like I ran a marathon. My body just needs to get used to this. It also needs to get back to working in the studio…

Day 34: Work it out

Today is another milestone, my first day back to the gym! When at 100% capacity I normal go for a 75 min spin class, today I made it through 50 mins of that class. I could not push as hard or do everything the class did but made a good first effort. Getting that kind of exercise actually relieved the pressure around my sinuses…im chalking it up to getting the blood pumping a little bit. It also made me super tired. Worth it!

Swelling:
My face is getting back to "normal"…I guess whatever the new normal is. I still have swelling under my nose and a bit along the jawline. I am actually getting a jawline now! The swelling is a bit more on the left side, the side that had the largest plate installed.

Movement:
I am starting to get more movement in my face. The top lip is still rather stiff but my left side has a mean Elvis. The muscles are very stiff. I need to look into some face exercises to prompt more healing. I can open my mouth further tho! If I take the guide elastics out I can now get the baby brush in between the top and bottom jaw, enough to brush the biting surfaces.

Yawning is still annoying. I still have to hold my face when a yawn comes on as the muscles really tense up. I have since sneezed as well. That was terrifying. It didnt hurt but my face was a little sore afterwards. You have to sneeze out of your mouth and not your nose. Prepping for a sneeze is somewhat comical, leaning forward, holding the jaw with an open mouth. By the time the body is prepped for the sneeze it has since decided to abort the mission.

Teeth:
My teeth are tender in spots. They are also getting stained from the prescription mouth wash. When I was sent home from the hospital I was to use the mouth wash 3 times a day. Now im down to just once a day but you really have to scrub with a proxabrush to get the color off. Problem is, applying pressure to scrub is sort of unpleasant…I have been doing this when I go out since you can sort of see my fangs now. Basically it just looks like I had a lot of coffee.

Stitches still are coming out in clumps. It's gross. Especially gross when a knot comes out, passing a little stitch spider. :P

Food:
Happily I am eating more creatively. I have not been blending my food but have opted for softer or smaller foods. I do however, really need to blend more green smoothies so I can get more leafy greens in my diet. I make most of what I eat but i do still enjoy the soup at the Wholefoods hot bar. Tonight Jarrett and I did order our first delivery meal since surgery, Thai food! I got a rice tofu soup and Pad See Ew with tofu. I cant eat the broccoli but the noodles can be chopped up. It was so good. I did manage to scrape out some crab rangoon filling as well.  Mostly I am just excited to eat tiny pasta and spinach.

Day by day:
I am slowly getting into a groove. I have been cleaning and organizing the house. I will finish this process in the studio, that will be the day I am ready to start hanging out in there again. Until then I clean a little, do some basic errands, play some video games and take it easy.

Octo-love from my sister. 

I am able to go out for about 3-4 hours before I get super drained but I am able to buzz around the house most of the day. Tomorrow I will attempt to drive! I have been super nervous to drive around because my focus was not as good and my head could not turn completely. Im only going to go a few miles at a time….or Ill just stay home forever.

One Month!

This weekend marks one month post surgery! While I still have some daily challenges I have been coming along.

Side by side smile comparison provided by Miranda.
Last week vs 2013 at Clutter Gallery.

Today's face progress

The swelling continues to linger but it has gone down…slowly but surely. I have started applying ice again in the evening. The hot compresses started making the tingling more pronounced in the evening and I want to eventually get to sleep. I found a cold wrap really comforting when I got back from the hospital so why fight a good thing. I found, in my cleaning adventures, that I had an ice pack with a velcro strap (from walgreens). I just strap it around my head and i dont have to keep fiddling with it. Perfect for applying ice while reading.

One month of facial feelings:

Here is a good chart of how the feeling has been coming along since week one. The feeling shifts around a bit as everything gets in its groove…or rebuilds entirely. The green is the 50% return and blue is the bit that didnt get the memo. 

Week one, two, three and four

Chewing:

While feeling is returning it is still pretty hard to actively chew. It feels like there is a strap across my chin that pulls backward every time i open my mouth to put food in. My teeth on the left side are tender. Pushing down feels odd and and a bit sore…kind of like a cavity, i was told this may be due to the nerves regaining feeling. I do not have any sensitivity to heat or cold. Even tho im getting more advanced with food options it still is a less than comfortable experience.

Fun, Friends, & Flapjacks:

This past week I have had some visitors, house guests, meals in restaurants and have started organizing my home. My first meal out of the house was crazy, my friend Nonie came in to visit from Philly and we went for burgers. Well, Jarrett and Nonie ate burgers and fries, I had an espresso shake and 4 mushy fries. It was glorious! After dinner we met up with some other friends who were drawing at a bar and even later on we went to the bar arcade where i ventured to have a beer and play some pinball. It was the longest I had been out of the house.

love seeing these faces

The following day my oldest friend, Arkady, came into town from St. Paul. We all went to dinner again, I brought my little spoon and hunkered down with some bean / cheese/ egg dip and a beer. The next morning I was all over some pancakes. I ate almost the full plate…which then made my stomach hurt. I have not been used to all that food.

I was so exhausted the following day that I had to just stay in my pjs. I must say breakfast food is awesome if you can not chew fully (I love breakfast food anyway, but it leveled up). I discovered that tofu seasoned with black sesame, soy sauce and pepper with small cut mix greens is also a fantastic option. I have since also gone out 2 more times for bfast with family.

Level up that soft food

Everyone has been super sweet and supportive. I know it will take me more time to get back to being able to be out longer and begin working but the gifts and love keep coming. It is so nice to get letters and care packages from friends all over. It really makes me feel pretty awesome.

 I have been able to spend a few more hours out at a time before the fatigue sets in. Yesterday I was out for about 3 hours, walking around and doing some shopping with my mother in law. Today I was out for about 3 hours and walked over 2 miles with my Sister in Law and niece. Another omelet and a trip to the zoo was pretty excellent. A lovely day to get some exercise!

Adventuring with this little lady

Over the next week I hope to clean and organize a room (or part of a room) a day in my home. I would like to finally do my spring cleaning and as a result I hope to get back into doing a little work on personal projects. 

I also hope to return to the gym for some light activity. I have to consult my surgeon to get the go ahead but Im kind of sick of being lazy. 

I will also be releasing my Tooth for A Tooth pieces soon. I had prepped some pieces before my surgery and am almost ready to finish them up for the shop. 

Day 24 - Mind the gap

I foresee that my blog posts will be further apart as I am attempting to get back to normal life…which right now is anything but normal. Relearning to eat food is very frustrating. I have patches of no feeling inside my mouth so I have no idea if I am biting myself or the "food". I can only open my mouth the tiniest bit…this is where those tiny spoons and plastic forks come in handy.

Insert delicious food into the slot

Jumping right into soft food is not as easy as they make it sound. I have had scrambled eggs, an avocado smushed into tiny pieces, couscous, over cooked mac and cheese shells and greek yogurt with honey. Everything else is still blended. I much prefer the blended meals to trying to chew…but i need to get my face moving so that my muscles know where their home really is. I tend to just be chewing very slowly up and down and then just swallowing things mostly whole. I am still having to use a mirror for reference as to where my mouth is.

Couscous adventures

The feeling comes in waves and it has been a struggle. Some times its a mild tingling that I can bear…other times its full on burning, throbbing and my teeth feel like they are vibrating. The latter happens mainly at night when I am trying to get ready for bed. Its quite terrible and may be driving me mad.

Here is today's feeling chart: 

• Green has a 40-50% return feeling, as in I can feel when something touches this part but I cant tell so much when it stops (the feeling lingers like a bug walking on your skin). 
• Blue is a 0-10% return. This is the area that has the most burning, stabbing, vibrating. This is also supposed to be the area that comes back last.

Feeling Blue:

I have been having waves of feeling defeated. It was warned in the pre-surgery packet that post surgery depression is a common occurrence and to just know that it is normal. My issue has been my mind is ready to work and to hang out and to exercise but my body is in no way ready. Its summer, everyone is out doing fun summer things and I get super tired when out in the sun. I would also love to go for a swim but can not submerge my head and its expressly forbidden to do anything more than walk at the moment. I have also been irritable about not being able to chew…who knew it was so hard. No wonder babies that just get new teeth are so cranky at meal time. All I need is a bib.  At least I almost have a real smile…even if it doesnt involve teeth

Returning Focus:

I have moved back into my bedroom at night and have returned the living room to normal. Its way less cozy to watch tv but im trying to shift back to regular life. I have also started to spend some time reading. My video game focus is pretty darn good and getting my eyes to follow fast moving objects and react to them is way better (not good enough for me to want to drive again, but better). I was having trouble before with eye strain when I would read… it was super taxing. I get through a few pages before I need a break and if I get too tired I just take a nap. I have a lot of books i wanted to spend time with during this recovery but had no idea how brain function would be effected by partial face removal surgery :P