1 year, 6 Months - Oh yeah, I had surgery

It has been a while so I thought I would report on all things "Jaw Surgery"! Life is pretty much back to normal, until someone asks how my face is feeling... then I remember and promptly focus on how my face DOES still feel weird.

Positives:

I can eat all of the things! I have had to learn how to properly eat an apple; I can no longer stab apples with my upper teeth and then use my tongue to pry the apple off said teeth, I have to bite at it with all the teeth...i think I now know why apple bobbing is difficult. I am not sure how to get corn off a cob yet but I bet come summer Ill be a pro.

Be it cheese or carrot, there is no match for my iron bite!

Less Positive:

Once I start thinking about it, all I can focus on is that pesky lower lip and some of my teeth that refuse to play nice. I try to rate the return sensation every time I go in for a cleaning and I have noticed that the gums are super alert. They may send signals to different parts of my face that have nothing to do with the cleaning, but they are super alert...painfully in some cases.

The scarf-effect                                  

There is also a very interesting thing that happens when I wear a scarf (I have been super into crochet lately, making huge scarves), no matter how soft the fabric it feels like I am wearing steel wool. The very act of wrapping my face up creates a hyper response from my chin. So what is going on with my face?

I no longer have any "dead spots",  I can feel something or a degree of something on every section of my chin. The chin is a dull tickle but the lip and just below are still very hyperactive, giving off the feeling of hot or cold and constantly tingling. Really it is like I fell asleep with a clothes pin on my lip and now it has to regain feeling. This feeling travels down on the inside of my lower lip to where it meets the gums. If I get a small bit of food stuck in this space it feels like red hot pokers all over my mouth until I can get it out of there. I now have a built in spinach detector! I was told by my surgical team that nerves are super slow and it could be continuing to heal at the 2 year mark.

Recently, I had my first real sinus related cold since surgery. Oh Boy... I have a very strange feeling when the sinuses are inflamed, the right side of my face feels like it is a balloon. Also a weird vibration that, when blowing my nose, feels like my metal plate and tooth below are rattling. Not actually what is happening but the sensation is really confounding...

 Other than that, I have had some touch-ups to my bite. A little "sanding" of some teeth that were touching strangely. I think the position is finally correct and I haven't had any weird wobble to my bite. I return for an orthodontic check up in March to make sure all the teeth are still stable and not trying to push themselves into odd configurations. I still have been very good about wearing my essex retainers every night and have not had any feeling of shifting. So, with that, onward and upward...and hopefully gaining more nerves.

One Year Toothiversary!

Time has flown by! Actually I have been very aware of the time as I have been paying attention to my nerves and mobility monthly… but it still doesn't seem like it has been a year.

I spent my Toothiversary in a beer hall in Brooklyn with some fabulous friends. I was planning an adventure for a tooth shaped relic to commemorate but got sidetracked. Eventually I will own all the tooth related goods!

First off, I wanted to share two photos: One is from April of last year (before surgery) at my Light Grey Art Lab opening and the second is from this weekend's Myplasticheart opening (one day shy of a year)…oddly enough wearing the same shirt.

A number of friends say they dont think I look that different, maybe because they see my face a lot, while others think I look completely changed. I tend to agree with the latter. Look at those swanky teeth.

Here are some more "then vs now" images, although the now was taken in January when I got the braces off but before I was allowed to go get a cleaning. Still swollen but still interesting to see, even if I am disheveled in both images.

So whats new now? Well the nerves are still on my nerves. Super long process but perhaps it is coming along, ill check my past graphics to see how its doing ;)

Nerve chart racing stripe

Green: My hyperactive tingling racing stripe. This stripe follows the same path to the inside of my mouth, so the front and back of my bottom lip gets all the numbs. It still feels like there is a clothes pin or chip clip stuck to my lip. I have the feeling of secondary motion when I talk, like my lip is carrying something heavy and it takes a min for it to move. It travels down to my gum line. When I brush my lower front teeth it is really uncomfortable. Just have to try to ignore it and keep on. It should start to come back more and more as the months progress. Fingers crossed.

Teal: The tiny dot in the stripe. This spot has pretty much no feeling. It really doesnt bother me at all but if I run my finger in a circle around my chin I can tell where it's "property lines" are. This will probably not come back. meh.

Purple: These are the spots I get some pressure. Like somone has their fingers there and they are pushing slightly. It comes and goes. The right side sometimes makes a few of my teeth hurt. This is also the section that was throbbing when I was at 10k feet in the mountains of Colorado recently. It was unpleasant. The surgeons office said that they could go back in to remove the screws here if needed buuuuut I think I will keep the slight annoyance rather than cutting my face open again.

In other news, my tongue has been a bit of an issue recently. Apparently when I work and I am focused I push on the back of my teeth. This is slightly moving the right side out a bit. Right now I am just going to wear the retainers a bit more during work hours and keep an eye on it. I will probably need more teeth shaved down but hopefully we wont need to move the teeth anywhere more aggressively.

Ten Months: No werewolves here

Silver Nitrate was added to the inside of my nose, perhaps to keep out werewolves, but also because I was having some nose bleeds. This is possibly from the surgery, having new tissue regenerating and not healing all the way. It seems to have worked but ill have to see.

Getting this done was a little uncomfortable. Mainly it made me want to sneeze. Other than that it feels like if you were just cutting a jalapeno and then accidentally rubbed your nose.

Other than that month 10 is here… again, glad to have the blog because it feels like nothing is changing until I read back on everything. So far so good… I am travelling more and everything is pretty normal. Working out still has its challenges because the nerves flair up.

…did I mention the nerves are still jerks?

Green: Go Green! This is the area that is threatening a return… and the part I want back most. The other night I was in the shower and for a brief moment i felt like it was normal. The feeling of having a clamp on my lip went away and a kind of cold sensation washed over. But now its back to feeling like I have the clamp on it. When I work out it gets super hot and tingly…i am assured this is good. It is annoying. 

Light blue: The ghost zone. Prickly. Faint

Dark Blue: Between numb and ghostly. This is the spot that will probably stay this way in the long haul… I also dont care if it does because it doesnt bother me. 

Food:

I can eat pretty much everything now. Which is probably not good for my waistline… nomnomnom

I have not attempted burger sized sandwiches BUT I did have a burrito! Chompers at the ready…

Look at that normal human bite!

I also have never had a caramel apple in my life, so this past weekend I was gifted one on the Oregon coast. It was terrifying…but then i managed a bite. Im sad that they look better than they taste. I feel like everything I thought about candied apples was a lie. I also tried some taffy but had to eject it from my mouth as it was way toooo sticky to be food. 

So really I am just getting back to life. I think as soon as feeling comes back I will feel a lot less challenged. I am also super nervous of falling on my face or getting hit by doors, ect… My parkour career will have to wait. 

Nine Months: The Nerve

Oh, month 9. This is the month I should start seeing improvement in my nerve department. Hrmph. Hrmph I say. I will keep this entry rather brief because not much has changed, I am beginning to worry, more.

I got my teeth shaved a bit more but with my haphazard feelings it wasn't working very well, I cant tell when certain teeth are touching.

The outside sensation map is exactly as I left it last month…So lets see a color chart of my teeth:

Green:
These are teeth that still have a dull wobbly feeling. The aren't quite numb but if I bite into something they feel like they aren't quite there. It makes it hard to judge if I have taken a bite out of something or not. I feel if I attempt larger or thicker food my teeth will fall out…im assured this is in my head.

Not shown is my palette which would also be green: right behind the front teeth it is still numb-ish. If I run my tongue across the back of my teeth it tickles and feels maybe even a little sore.

Blue (dark): 
These are areas of hyper sensitivity! Wheeeee! Brushing these teeth feel awful, like my tooth brush is made of small pins. The gum line along the bottom teeth is so sensitive. Time to lower the pressure on the water pik. If the top and bottom teeth hit each other in just the wrong way my head may explode…im assured this will not happen.

Blue (light):
That pesky screw along my sinus is a feeling of odd pressure. If I blow my nose the teeth below this area feel like they are vibrating. This is also the section where I am able to sense changes in weather. 

Sinuses
…are jerks. I gave the surgeon's office a call this week because I am concerned about the fact there is still often dried blood in my right nostril. Not a lot of it, no active running nose bleeds, but it was something that should have gone away months ago. This was the entrance point for the intubation and there have been no signs of infection, so we shall see. I also have congestion in my sinuses in general. I do get seasonal allergies but this feels more internal. I must remember to ask about a netti pot.

Eight Months: The Grind

I am still alive! So the thing about continuing to heal is you start actually living life as normal. It has been 8 months since my surgery and I still have a bit left before getting back to being totally normal.

The Feels:

March 2016

VS

December 2015

 Okay, nerves are kind of jerks. So slow to heal…. but thankfully I can look back and see how the progress has been…progressing. When you live with something day to day its hard to reflect or see any changes. I still have hyper active bits - green - these bits still go through the gambit of feeling and are very sensitive to touch, temperature, ect. The little blue dot is the "meh" zone. If i touch this spot i feel it a little bit but it doesnt bother me… its not a big deal. This spot was off and on numb for ages. It has been upgraded to a code: meh. Also, if you cant tell from the photos, I can wear make-up again without it feeling super odd.

Being Human:

Not only have I been trying to phase some
make-up back into my life but I finally got my hair cut and dyed. It took a long time to human again.

Since I feel like Ive grown into my new face, having the bones settle down / start knitting together, I had my husband help me get some artist head shots done (It has been almost 5 years). Really it is the first set of portraits ever taken that I actually like. Its hard to explain but I feel like I now have all my bones are in the right place.

I have also pretty much regained all face making skills. Oh, I can also almost whistle again too! I do still have trouble with talking. The letters "E", "F", "S", "V" & "Z" are still setting off crazy flares in my skin and teeth. Also words like "Bouillon", "Tactical", & "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" are pretty tricky too. Im just learning how to move my face again, thats all. Just severed nerves and sad muscles…pfft, nothing.

I am back to the full time work and work out game. My face still can be distracting but I have too many exhibits to prepare for… so I am hoping the exhibits will now be the distraction from the nerve-crazies.

Except now I also have a ganglion cyst in my hand from working so much but thats just another can of worms…

Food:

Oh, food… I miss all of you. Yesterday I was actually able to unhinge my jaw enough to eat a large fancy sushi roll!! I have also had a sandwich last month!! It was a smaller sandwich but it counts. Cant eat a sub yet, my teeth still have a lot of patches of numbness so its weird to eat complicated food. I did try almonds recently…I can bite through them but one at a time and super slowly. Progress!

The Grind:

So today I took a trip to Dr. Nealis to get my teeth shaved down. Shaved down like a domestic rodent. Since my teeth were worn unevenly pre-surgery I need to get everything levelled out.

I cant think of a better way to find out that you have over active and super sensitive saliva glands than to make it almost impossible to get this procedure finished. I was there for about an hour struggling to get this done. To mark the teeth, to shave the appropriate spots, the teeth need to be super dry. womp womp. So I got 1/3 of this done… I have to take a pill to dry my mouth out for a few hours to finish this up. SO WEIRD! My teeth also now feel crazy because full / different sections touch. The photo above is the last section that needs to get adjusted.

Well… I will get this done in a month or so. I still have my essex retainers, I have been wearing them as often as I haven't. Soooooo Ive been bad…. but i wear them every night.

When I work i tend to push my tongue to the back of my teeth and I get crazy tooth sensitivity. I think Ive discovered my stress tick…. I have resigned myself to wear these retainers when I have long work days / tight deadlines so I dont mess up these chompers.

Six Months: Hello Invisalign

This past month (and the start of the new year) has been eventful to say the least. As I posted Monday I got my braces off, it was glorious.

But since Monday I have had two more tooth related appointments: Picking up my invisalign from Dr. Huang and getting my last face scan from Dr. Olsson!

Invisalign:
Behold my new tooth prison for 20+ hours a day for the next 3 months (and then at night, forever)…

I have had them for roughly 36 hrs and its an interesting new experience thus far.

Pros:
After having so much trauma to this part of my face over the last year it is actually kind of comforting. They do not hurt because they are not made to progressively shift my teeth, but to keep them exactly where they are now. Since I'm mildly scared about getting bumped in the face, hit with a door or slipping on an icy sidewalk it assures me my teeth aren't falling out… or something. Anyway, they are kind of like a hug for each tooth.

The Inaugural Wear

You have to get pretty up close and personal to see them on my teeth. Two things give it away: 1. When my teeth are closed there is a slight gap (shown above), 2. When wearing, I currently have a tiny lisp when saying things that end in S.  I have also already forgotten I was wearing them a couple times (may be due to still having tooth numbness).

Cons:
You need to take them out anytime you want to eat or drink anything (other than water). Because I forgot I was wearing them last night I tried to eat some bread and couldn't figure out why it felt so odd. This means I have to plan my coffee drinking into short bursts instead of my all day routine.

After I eat or drink something and before putting them back in I need to brush my teeth. So where ever I go I need to bring my case and my tiny vial of tooth powder.

Case (they gave me blue to match my hair), Appliance bath,
tooth powder (need to get a tiny portable brush too)

Care:
I really didn't want to have an open glass of water sitting around with my teeth in it so I bought a little sealing bath at the pharmacy. It has a little draining basket in it so i don't have to fish my teeth out with my paws.

Figuring out how to clean them was a little more challenging. Can not clean them with toothpaste or mouthwash and after reading the ingredients on the denture / retainer cleaners I was determined to not have artificial colors, flavors, chemicals and whatever metal shavings they put in that crap. Turns out really watered down distilled white vinegar does the same job. I'm not a fan of vinegar (unless its salt and vinegar chips) but some running water gets ride of residue.

My teeth in a basket

Then today I visited Dr. Olsson for my last visit (as long as nothing odd happens). All is healing as it should and will continue to for up to two years. I can still feel where there is a break in the bone even tho Dr. Olsson believes I think too much about these things ;)

 …And then I got a brand new face scan!

I KNEW IT, Ive gone full Terminator!!

2013 vs 2016

Post op (wired shut) vs Today

Illuminated chompers

As you can see, where my bottom jaw is broken, the left side has a larger break and plate. This is also the side that still is visible on the outside as well… totally not making that up.

Here is this month's numbness progression. The changes are slight, almost too slight for me to really account in any helpful way…but here it is anyway:

Maybe by the time my invisalign goes into retainer mode I will have more or less feeling and less of a visible crater. Onward!

Day 178: Cleared For Take Off

Happy New Year!! Today is a very special day, a day that seemed like a life-time away. I got up, took a few photos and rushed to the train to head downtown. Why was I so excited?

Because… today is the day I went to visit Dr. Huang (My Orthodontist)! Today is the day I escaped tooth prison… the braces came off!

Dr Huang gets 2 thumbs up!

Just shy of the 2 year mark since I first held my teeth captive, just shy of 6 months since my surgery. The first few months I was sure that it would never end, I was pretty bummed out being an adult with braces…. but holy cow, a lot has changed!

Did it hurt to get them off? Yes, but it may not be that way for everyone. My gums and lips are hyper sensitive at the moment so getting the bracket off the tooth makes them vibrate just enough for the nerves to go bananas. Getting the glue off the individual teeth didn't bother my teeth at all, the blast of air off of the tiny grinder made my gums cringe. The smell of hot tooth glue is not delicious. But Dr. Huang did everything in short bursts, giving me a moment to recover every few teeth. He also tried to shield my gum line from the air (which really only bothered me on the bottom jaw- the very sensitive / numb/ hyperactive / nightmare zone). 

A successful escape

I walked up to the mirror to rinse the glue debris from my mouth and saw my teeth for the first time. I let out an audible giggle. It was the first time I had ever seen my teeth like this! I stayed for end photos and to get impressions for my invisalign retainers. A few months ago they had tried to get some images and opening my mouth with the plastic bars hurt so much I was almost brought to tears. Today everything felt almost normal! Its all sensitive but the pain is going away. The first real sign for me of progress in this department. 

I sent my husband photos from the chair and he came up with the brilliant idea of celebration ramen! The hot soup felt a bit strange on my teeth but with noodles this good, who cares. 

Now I am home and its so surreal… I glace in the mirror and think "look at those chompers"! I actually feel really pretty… go figure!

Day 169: The Final Countdown / A Christmas story

This month I have been super busy, busy enough to totally disregard my 5 month post. This is partial business and partial not wanting to jinx myself. My last Ortho appointment at the beginning of the month involved scheduling my braces removal (as long as my bite is stable without the rubber bands). I have been without rubber bands and since nothing has changed I think it is safe to say I am almost done. I have scheduled removal for Jan 4th!!

Feeling:
Oh the joys of having a stubborn face. I seem to be getting more sensation on the inside gum line of my lower teeth, but the outside of my chin is still hyper. If anything it is doing gradual restoration, not enough to notice a great difference. Touching the base of my chin is way less sharp / uncomfortable. Washing my chin / face is still strange and calls for a light touch. I still have phantom sensation and can not tell if there is food on my face.

I can now tell when I have food in my teeth more easily. Getting food out of my gum line is now super sensitive (which makes me afraid for the braces removal). Also rice, rice gets stuck at the base of my gums, when i try to push it out with a finger I feel the scars, its odd.

I do still get odd sensations in my top jaw and right sinus. I can feel the screw in the right side, I get an occasional pressure there. If I blow my nose i get a weird vibration in one of the upper teeth closest to the metal plate / screw. I'm told it will gradually go away.

I will get to see a new head scan after the braces come off. Hopefully its all growing back the correct way.



Work:
I have been back to it. Now on more of a full time schedule. I can work 8hr days for now, I'm trying to make myself stop working between 8-10hrs, trying not to work too much on weekends. Easing into it and trying to make my work habits a little more agreeable for future projects. Too often before surgery I would work every day up to 20hrs at a time. Nope…nope… reset.

Travel:
Flying is no longer bothering me! I do still have to bring my portable water pik and sometimes my wedge pillow but it is all getting easier :)

FOOD:
I am still having issue with crunchy food. I am not much closer to eating a sub sandwich or a crunchy taco. Some teeth are just numb or sensitive (mostly the front top and bottom). My palette behind my front teeth is still mostly numb just behind the teeth and the extra sensitive toward the middle, so rough or sharp food (pretzels, bread, ect..) feels very strange.

I am trying to progress more with moving my jaw around, when the K9s touch it is quite startling. Eating with my mouth closed is still a challenge. I have to eat slowly and deliberately.

Christmas dinner will be the ultimate test… or maybe post xmas left overs will be the test. If I can make a tiny turkey sandwich I will be very excited!

Day 141: The Thanksgiving Edition

Its Turkey day… but what can I eat?

First off, I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving! If you dont celebrate I hope your day was equally as wonderful. It doesn't have to be a holiday to spend time with friends and family and reflect on things you are thankful for.

Saying that, I was worried about the food portion of the holiday. I am still not eating all the things. Talking is also a bit difficult after a while, as the braces and bands irritate my lips. Since I had spent the past weekend at DesignerCon in LA my talking and smiling muscles were already quite tired (more on that on my 5 month post).

Here is the run down on all things Thanksgiving:

Pros:

1. Family generally reads the blog and is up to date on all things "face off"! So discussions about the whole surgery ordeal is totally painless.

2. Wine and Beer flow freely and I can drink both.

3. I was able to eat quite a few things such as:

• Mash potatoes & sweet potatoes
• Spinach Quiche (ordered special for me <3
• Stuffing
• Super tiny bits of Turkey
• Brussel sprout and kale salad (My cousin was sweet enough to steam down a bit of the salad she had made so that I could attempt it)
• PIE…PIE PIE PIE!

I was also able to bite into these fruit jellies!
A surprising delight…aka "a Thanksgiving miracle"

But then there must also be… KHAAAANS:

1. I sadly can not eat other things like crispy veggies, salad, non wilted down kale, brussel sprouts, nuts, crusty bread.

2. That means all appetizers and random sweets were off limits. chips, carrots, celery, and chocolates with mystery fillings. I did however, eat some dip with a spoon. 

3. Competitive family card games were off the table for me as well as quick hand movements near my face still make me super nervous. 

4. I still get pretty tired quickly….and it isn't the turkey talking.

All in all… I chalk it up to success. There are no leftover turkey sandwiches for me (a con) and all the pumpkin cheesecake I made was devoured but that just means I wont be sitting around stuffing my face today. After sleeping in, the hubs and I did have leftover stuffing with scrambled eggs this morning… so i am sort of winning at Thanksgiving!

Day 127: Super human sensation

Today I went to my Surgeon and Orthodontist. Here is the skinny, the area I call the "dead zone" is apparently the opposite, its the "Hyper-active zone". While my gums, lower teeth and inside of the lower lip have a delay in reaction and faint feeling the chin is SUPER sensitive. Dr Huang called it something like "dysesthesia" when I described it to him later. I told him that sounded official so it was probably right. 

 Anyway,  Dr. Olsson had me close my eyes while he lightly touched areas of my chin with both a dull and sharp instrument. I felt all of it as a horrible shooting tingling and could tell him what direction he was going when lightly tracing around my face…. the inside of my lip when faced with the same test eventually felt the sharp side… just a bit delayed.

So what probably is happening is that my feeling returned super quickly after surgery but has now plateaued a bit but is still healing. Dr. Olsson explained most people recover feeling more gradually but my nerves didn't want to wait around to come back… that sounds like me. He expects I will probably only have permanent damage at the very tip of my chin… I'm fine with that as long as the plastic face feeling goes away.

The wax facial feature feeling is probably the fact that the inside of my mouth still has less reactive patches and the outside is crazy reactive so it makes every movement feel tight. He says everything looks great and he isn't worried. Staying on the vitamins and trying to not be a crazy person.

Then onward to Dr. Huang's office… I was having some contact of my upper tooth with the very top of my lower front teeth. The hitting of these two teeth was sort of uncomfortable. He took a look and said we should rearrange my bands, as the lower teeth had wanted to advance more than we needed so it was the exact right time to stop them and just settle it all down for the next month. My bands are now stronger and straight up and down (a.k.a "the fangs"). This is officially a "Code: Sea Lion"…

And because I couldn't see the other two without stopping in to see Dr Nealis and Marybeth I went up to the dentist office and made an appointment for a cleaning when the braces come off.

All in all I feel much better, like maybe i am not totally falling apart after all… onward…